You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
