I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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