help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
