But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
