You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
