Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
