Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
