My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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