After last night, I could never be a politician.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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