you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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