am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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