pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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