how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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