DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We are all done wearing pants today
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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