Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
