If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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