Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
