I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
