you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
