i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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