There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
