Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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