so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
