Say something about gay babies.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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