The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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