You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
