Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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