Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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