She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
