Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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