would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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