we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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