no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
