How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
