I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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