we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
