It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
