if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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