The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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