so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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