He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I stole a fireplace last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
