Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You've changed since you got that strap on
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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