my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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