Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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