last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
