I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
