the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
