what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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