I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
