normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
