I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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