he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Too much gin, very little bucket
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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