You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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