i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
